Parents should allow children to try alcohol at home to help stop them binge drinking, a new study claims. We ask the experts how to handle youngsters and drinking.
When having a glass of wine with a meal, or a beer at a family party, most parents would baulk at the thought of allowing their teenager to do the same.
But a new study suggests parents who allow their kids to have alcohol may actually be encouraging them to drink sensibly in the future.
The study of more than 10,000 15- and 16-year-olds by Liverpool John Moores University's Centre for Public Health, found those given alcohol by their parents were less likely to binge drink in later life, or drink in public places or on the street.
As a result, the report's authors have suggested parents of teenagers replace peer pressure to drink dangerously with positive role models for sensible alcohol consumption.
This could mean kids drinking 'in moderation' with their parents at family meals or elsewhere, "in order to educate them about alcohol use".
As Professor Mark Bellis - director of the centre and lead author of the report - points out, the ability to drink sensibly isn't something people are born with, but something that is learned.
"By the age of 15, the vast majority of young people are already using alcohol and this study suggests those who do so with their parents are more likely to avoid the most dangerous drinking behaviours," he says.
"In the UK we still have a great deal to learn about how parents can best act as alcohol role models and educators for their children."
Bellis suggests a Mediterranean approach to drinking alcohol - with food and with restraint - is desirable but is "unlikely to ever develop in the UK unless parents demonstrate such behaviours and help develop them in their children".
Alcohol Concern welcomed the report, stressing that parents talking to their teenagers about sensible drinking and acting as positive role models is vital in the war against binge-drinking.
Spokesperson Anne Jenkins says: "This is an extremely useful report as it gives suggestions on practical measures to combat the type of risky drinking that's potentially so damaging for young people.
"Communication between parents and children about what constitutes sensible drinking, and the real dangers attached to binge-drinking, is essential."
She says moderate alcohol consumption within a family setting will encourage safer drinking, adding: "Clearly, parents must also provide good role models for their children - there's little point in a parent telling a child the recommended health guidelines on alcohol, if they themselves are seen drinking in excess of this.
"Parents play a pivotal role in shaping teenagers' drinking behaviour."
ASK THE EXPERT
Q:
My 14-year-old daughter is smoking and skipping meals to try to lose weight. How do I convince her that she's going about it the wrong way, and she's not fat anyway?
A:
Gill Hines, an education consultant who runs workshops for parents of teenagers, says: "Like it or not, you can't convince her of anything because you're her mum and, as far as she's concerned, know nothing of her or her life.
"What you can do is spend more time with her and encourage her to open up to you without disagreeing with her or telling her she's going about her life the wrong way.
"The bottom line is that she's not happy with herself and is feeling quite insecure. To help her feel better she's choosing to 'control' one aspect of herself that's visible to others, but it's the invisible sense of herself that needs boosting.
"Every time you disagree with her about her weight, eating habits or smoking, you're reinforcing her belief that you think she's wrong and not good enough.
"Let go of food issues, talk to each other. Watch soap operas and read magazines together. Don't ask her probing questions but show by your enthusiastic and warm responses to her that you enjoy her company, find her viewpoints interesting and have things to learn from her. It might take time but by showing you like her she'll like herself more too."
Q:
"My 15-year-old son keeps coming home drunk after binge drinking with his friends. I've tried grounding him and stopping his pocket money, but nothing works. What should I do?"
A:
Peter Cartwright of Adfam, which supports the families of alcohol and drug users, says: "Your son could be experimenting, and typically there is an element of rebellion and risk-taking in this. Most young people grow out of it and come to little harm.
"You've tried to manage the situation and nothing's worked. so I suggest talking to him about his drinking in an open, honest and non-judgmental way. This will help you understand what's happening for him, show your concern and help him.
"Explore if he's just experimenting, or is there anything leading to his drinking, such as being bullied, craving peer approval, etc? His drinking might be a way to cope with these difficulties and until they're addressed he could well continue.
"Offer him information on drinking to help him make a more informed choice about whether to drink, and if he continues, then how to do so in a less risky way.
"You might also want to tell him you're worried about him, that you love him, and that you want to have a good relationship with him but sometimes you don't know how.
"You might add that he's breaking the law and that has implications for you as a parent."
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