FOR many people the enjoyment of Christmas comes from decorating their homes with a big tree, brightly coloured tinsel and lights and getting together with family and friends.

For a person living with dementia these same things, along with the marked changes in day-to-day routine, can be unsettling and stressful. For Rachel, daughter of Malcolm who has been living with dementia for around three years, planning Christmas Day is almost like a ‘military operation’ and keeping to a normal routine as much as possible.

Rachel said: “We’ll still do the same things, but slightly differently.”

With a few tweaks this year she is hoping to overcome any challenges ‘so dad doesn’t feel overwhelmed’. Carers will come in at the beginning and end of the day as normal to help maintain a sense of routine before Malcolm and wife Shirley go to Rachel’s. In the kitchen Rachel will ensure Malcolm’s meat is cut up small and his potatoes aren’t too crisp to make them easier to eat, but she will serve his food at the same time as every else’s though so he doesn’t feel singled out. Malcolm loves jigsaw puzzles so will be getting them as presents.

Rachel added: “We’re planning ahead in terms of what could cause dad stress and how we deal with it.”

Christmas has also changed for Maria, whose father Ronald lives with her and her husband. Before being diagnosed with vascular dementia Ronald had always enjoyed a big family Christmas and cooking a turkey for 14, but now he struggles with the change in routine.

Maria said: “Dad doesn’t really focus on people anymore and has lost his sense of perception.

"He’s had a Christmas tree up in his annexe since April, but it would be hard for him to cope with sitting around a table with so many people. I don’t want to put him through that.

“Last year my family paid for us to go away and my dad went into respite care so I could relax for one day. I felt bad about leaving him, so this year he will stay in his annexe and keep to his normal routine. We try different ways to celebrate Christmas and it’s all we can do.”

Stephany Bardzil, Alzheimer’s Support spokesperson said: “It is lovely that these families are doing what they can to include their relatives in a way that does not overwhelm them. Many families we support say it’s best to keep things low key, enjoy traditions that work but be flexible and make adjustments so everyone can relax and enjoy the spirit of the day.”