THE summer holidays are now a dim and distant memory. You 've just tripped over the dog as you dash to sweep up the cereal that has been spilt all over the floor, while simultaneously answering the phone and packing the lunch boxes.

Your seven-year-old thumps your five-year- old who retaliates with a sharp kick, and all hell breaks loose.What you want is for the kids to behave nicely so you can get them out of the house on time,without shouting at them,again.

Sounds familiar?Welcome to parenting in the 21st century.

Families today often struggle to juggle work and family life.The pressure of juggling creates stress,and when a child acts up (as children do),it can be the last straw.

Dr Jenny Leonard,an experienced Chartered Psychologist and Parent Coach is much in demand.The mother of two teenagers,who launched the Bradford-on- Avon based UK Parent Coaching,says, "The biggest problem that many parents face is simply not knowing what to do when a child or teenager starts to act up."

Why do you think that is?

There are several factors.Firstly,we are all under a lot more pressure these days, often working and still doing all the other jobs that have to be done to keep the household running.Secondly,parents are often separated from their wider family network,and so they cannot rely on them for help and advice,as they could in the past.Thirdly,although this gap has been plugged by a countless number of books,TV programmes and internet advice,parents are often confused.My clients often come to me having tried every technique in the book.They tell me that the techniques didn 't work,and they feel like a failure.This sense of failure then leads to parents feeling even more anxious,overwhelmed,and lacking in confidence about how to handle their child 's behaviour.

How does parent coaching help?

Parent coaching works by giving one-to-one support either in person,or over the telephone;it is this support that enables parents to feel more confident and in control.I also give practical advice about how to implement techniques correctly,in a consistent way,so that they do work.

Some problems require more than the simplistic approach that is often taken by many parenting books and TV programmes.My approach is also to work with parents ' thoughts,feelings, and underlying issues.Because,until these issues are cleared up,the negative behaviour will either continue,or re- emerge in a few weeks time.By addressing the underlying issues,parents will make positive,long-term change.

What issues do you work with?

Many issues to do with child behaviour, for example,tantrums,aggression,anger, sleep problems,fussy eating,sibling rivalry,problems with teenagers acting entitled and treating their parents with disrespect,relationship issues,and blended families.

Tantrums

Janice came to me about her son, Jack,aged four. He had frequent temper tantrums,breaking his brother 's toys and lashing out.Janice had tried everything, and nothing seemed to work.

I ask Janice to keep a behaviour diary, and she soon became aware that Jack was not the only one throwing tantrums - she was too!She was giving Jack lots of attention by shouting at him when he was difficult,which was making the behaviour much worse.

I helped Janice to take a step back and calm down.Janice was also asked to give Jack lots of attention when he behaved well.

Janice was amazed at the change and said:"Jenny was a fantastic help,I only wish I 'd come to her sooner!"

Teenage Trouble

Sandra came to me when her daughter, Emma,aged 15,had been suspended from school.Emma spent most of the day in bed,then demanded money from her mother and stayed out half the night.

She shouted and hit her mother when she didn 't get her own way and would disregard curfews.

I soon discovered that Sandra had been afraid to lay down any boundaries with Emma.It transpired that Sandra 's parents had been very strict,and as a consequence,Sandra had parented in a way that was the exact opposite.

Jenny worked with both mother and daughter.As Sandra learnt to assert her parental authority in a calm and fair manner and Emma responded by treating her mother with more consideration and respect,and developed a more positive attitude towards doing well at school.

How much does it cost?

Consultations last 50-60 minutes and start at £300 for a course of six.While this isn 't cheap,it 's only for a short time,and it will make an enormous positive long- term difference to your relationship with your child now and in the future.

All case study names have been changed to maintain confidentiality.