After years of self-harming Amy Ratnett is fighting back against her illness and has set up a blog to reach out to other sufferers.
Amy, 29, from Trowbridge, was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder several years ago and suffered from depression.
She took her first paracetamol overdose aged 20, and was rushed to the Royal United Hospital in Bath for drug treatment to save her life.
Amy said: “The drug they gave me in a drip caused extreme pain. It made me so sick I was begging them to give me something for it to stop.
“I felt the pain from treatment was a punishment and I soon became addicted to that pain.”
The former John of Gaunt pupil has told her story in December’s Cosmopolitan magazine, out this week, after she took overdoses and self-harmed regularly over the next few years.
At the time she was working as a nanny, and said: “I would overdose on the Friday night, spend the weekend in hospital and be back at work on Monday.
“The most I ever took was four packets of paracetamol. I never wanted to kill myself, it was an addiction.”
Her family knew about her self-harming as they would often receive a call from the hospital.
“They tried to understand, especially my dad, but they couldn’t,” she said. “They thought I was trying to kill myself but I wasn’t.”
After spending most of 2012 receiving specialist treatment in a London psychiatric unit, she is now back in west Wiltshire, and has set up a blog to share her experiences and help others.
She said: “I didn’t know anyone was doing what I was doing so I set up the blog to let people know they are not alone.
“I want to advise people to get help – you can’t do it on your own. I would still be doing it if I had not got help.”
Read her blog at http://tinyurl.com/oacyq5m
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